Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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