Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
