I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
