I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
