Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
