U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
