You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
