I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
