i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
