forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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