I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Still dying that you shit outside
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
