wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
