Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
