Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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