Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
