I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
