I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All the doctor said was why
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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