Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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