Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
