dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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