with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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