i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
