Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
