i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
