Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
