You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
