he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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