I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
