We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
