And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
