There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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