I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
