arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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