it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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