I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
