mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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