So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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