its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
