dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
