My brain says no but my pants say off.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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