There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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