went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
