4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
