His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
