Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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