My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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