I just threw up on my dentist
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
