well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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