My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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