yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
FUCK WHALES
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
