whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
