If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
