you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
