He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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