My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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