i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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